Time To Let Go Of Time

Taking a holistic approach to any problem is key to creating true change. This includes overcoming the negative beliefs you hold about your ability to manage and be intentional with your time. A positive mindset gets mixed reviews. It’s an effective way to see things, however, if you’re dealing with past trauma, unprocessed emotions, and deeply ingrained negative beliefs, this approach is almost impossible on its own. One way to go about it is to embrace a positive mindset and allow yourself to take a moment to feel what’s coming up for you, name and acknowledge it, and even let it be there while you move forward with the things that are a priority.

The reason embracing a positive mindset alone doesn’t work is that your body stores memories of past events, and from there the energy of those memories is sent to your brain through your nervous system to be interpreted. Your body needs to make sense of that energy and why it’s physically feeling a certain way. That’s where the thoughts, beliefs and stories come in. When you can process that energy, your brain has new information to interpret that’s not tied to perceived danger, and you’ll more easily land in a positive mindset. This can be done through different therapies like EFT tapping, Brainspotting, NET, Deep Brain Reorienting, and more. These therapies process the energy of the trauma and past experiences so that you no longer get triggered, and more importantly, no longer hold an inaccurate view of yourself.

I’ll get more into this in future blogs. For now, the important takeaway is that just telling yourself to think positive won’t work when it comes to dealing with past emotions, beliefs and stories that keep you stuck and unable to get things done.

Barriers to Action

What stops you from getting things done? It’s important to understand what gets in the way of you accomplishing something. There are different parts to any problem. Consider the following:

• Is it a skill or system you need to develop?
• Is there something you need to change, learn or know?
• Are there beliefs or emotions stopping you from doing it?
• Do you have habits that get in the way?

Take some time to look at each area of your time management challenges, and do this without putting a label on it like “time blind.” Get specific about what happens so you can see what you really need in order to change it. Consider what’s stopping you from changing, and whether there’s a technical aspect you can address — like developing the skills to keep track of time. The other part of moving through barriers is seeing what you need to release that’s getting in the way. It could be an emotion, belief, thought, story about yourself, or even a bad habit. Try the chart below to map out each barrier you have around time management. I’d recommend doing another one for habits and routines. Time management focuses more on things like your ability to decide what’s a priority, how to plan your day, and how to start and complete tasks.

Challenge	What’s stopping me?	What do I need to change, learn or know to overcome this barrier?	What do I need to release and what will I replace it with?
Get anxious and overwhelmed	Not clear on what I have to do and how to approach it	Reach out for help to gain clarity	Let go fear I can’t do it Replace with confidence and compassion
Procrastinate	Feel sluggish and slow	My sleep routine	I can do it later attitude
Rabbit hole research	Perfectionism	How to set boundaries	Fear of being judged

Once you’ve completed the chart, see who can help you address each area. It could be a friend, a coach, or a therapist. Regardless, I don’t recommend trying to tackle it on your own. A scale can’t weigh itself, and creating true change requires connection and support from others.

Letting go of labels

It’s become the norm to self-diagnose, over-pathologize every single behaviour, and get attached to a label. This keeps people stuck in victimhood and believing they can’t change. I’d like you to consider connecting more with the state you’re in instead of the label you’ve attached to. Consider the following.

Are you feeling:

• Scattered, and that it takes a lot of time to process and understand information?
• That it takes forever to get into a flow of focus?
• That you need longer to complete a task?
• That you jump around from one thing to another?
• That you get lost in a rabbit hole researching or doing a particular task?
• That you procrastinate because you’re overwhelmed and not clear on what to do?
• That you feel stuck, overwhelmed, and end up zoning out, then feel guilty and ashamed?

Each of these examples describes what it’s like to be in a sympathetic or dorsal state. When we’re aware of our states, we can do what’s needed to get back into the ventral vagal state, which allows us to focus, be creative, problem-solve, gain perspective, and discern from a place of calm and confidence. By letting go of labelling every behaviour that gets in the way of you getting things done, you free yourself up to possibilities for growth, clarity and transformation. Try making a plan for building resiliency, stability and calm using the chart below. Think of things you can do that help you reset, strengthen your nervous system, and feed your body, mind and spirit. These daily practices and habits can be anything from 60 seconds to 30 minutes. You’d be surprised by the impact a regular 2 minutes throughout the day can have on your health, wellbeing, and the state of your nervous system.

Time of Day	Daily Practice + Habits	Tools for when things are too intense
Morning	Meditate – 10 minsSolid breakfast – 15 minsMovement (walk, workout, yoga) – 10 mins	EFT tappingBreathingShakingSound healingNatureDrinking water/teaTalking to someone you trust
Daytime	Quick stretch breaksMini cardio – skipping, taking stairsSnacks and solid lunch
Evening	Quiet time – no techJournalListen to calming music

Next time you’re stuck in procrastination, try to focus on your state and what you need to feel like yourself again.

Getting Things Done!

There is no one way to approach time management, daily habits and routines. There’s no quick fix or magic wand. Common strategies like breaking down tasks do work and are very effective for both emotional overwhelm and processing information — however, this alone won’t solve your time challenges. You need to look at what’s stopping you internally, as well as what skills, tools and systems you need to develop. Another piece is letting go of labels and addressing the state of your nervous system so you can build resilience.

Below are some technical strategies you can integrate to help you shift and build skills to overcome your challenges with time management. Enjoy!

Get creative! 

Draw maps, sketches, and timelines to help you conceptualize what you’re trying to create and what it literally looks like along the way. Use this as a visual reference point when you feel unmotivated or start losing connection to the bigger why. Include a mission statement of what’s important to you and what you’re moving towards.

Daily habits and routines 

These are non-negotiable. I’ve worked with clients over the last 12 years, and those who have the most success in staying connected to who they want to be and what they’re creating in their life have daily habits and routines. I recommend having a morning, daytime and evening routine. Pick whatever works for you to stay in alignment, focused and clear.

Focus time 

What time of day are you able to be alert, focused and creative? Use that time for the bigger tasks like writing a paper, studying, or tackling a work project. Then save the random tasks like emails, chores and admin for when you’re less engaged but can still accomplish something.

Say no 

This can look like anything from saying no to a random task you’re using to avoid the thing you actually need to do, to saying no to social engagements or helping others before you’ve taken care of your own responsibilities. Get clear on your fundamental needs and focus first — then when something comes your way, it’ll be easier to know if you can take it on.

Sometimes this looks like putting certain things on hold while maintaining your daily musts to stay grounded, balanced and present. Then when something comes up, you won’t feel guilty, because you’ll be more connected to what matters most instead of running on reaction and impulse. This is why those habits and routines are so important — they help you stay in an emotionally regulated state.

The Garbage Mile / Two-Minute Rule 

I love this analogy that someone taught me years ago. Often runners don’t feel like running that first mile, and it’s once they’re past it that they start to feel energized, motivated, and an overall sense of wellbeing. I also like the idea of “just do it” and the two-minute rule. A lot of the time, getting started is the barrier, and this can work great when there isn’t a deep emotional charge at the time.

Each of these means moving through resistance, discomfort and avoidance. Once you get past that, things start to flow. If you lead with emotion, this technique may be especially helpful, because you can begin to build a new connection to starting tasks — one where you embody the shift of getting past that hump of resistance.

Set up your environment and reduce distractions 

Don’t do your schoolwork at home! If you work from home, get out as much as possible to work at a library, cafe or shared workspace. The structured space makes a huge difference, because when you’re at home all the lines get blurred and you procrastinate. You want to associate your home with the parts of life that don’t include work, and these intentional spaces (library, etc.) as places to work and focus.

Strengthen your nervous system, build resilience, and shift your mindset along the way 

What are you feeding your mind, body and soul? Are you watching and listening to enriching material that inspires you to learn and grow, or just random information? What are you doing during the day that helps you feel strong, clear and balanced? As you build resilience and live more in a ventral vagal state, you’ll see that you’re better able to hold a positive mindset, gain perspective on situations, and overall be better with your time.

Non-Negotiables

• Have someone or a group to be accountable to.
• Create structure in your day-to-day life, and leave room for flexibility.
• TAKE BREAKS!!! Do whatever you need to get up every 30 minutes or so to stretch, assess your time, and check in on what you need to do. This should also include things like water and a snack when needed.
• Focus on making tiny changes over a long period of time to ensure true change.
• Creating change is a process, so pick one or two things to implement and get solid in them before adding another. This ensures the change lasts and that you work through any barriers that keep the issue sticking around.