You might be wondering what Emotional Intelligence has to do with getting your life and spaces organized. The short answer is when you are able to keep your emotions in check you are better able to keep your life in check, including being organized.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Ever notice how some people can apologize for their actions easily, or find it easy to collaborate? Well, those are actually traits of emotional intelligence. Being on time and keeping commitments are also traits of having high EQ. Overall, individuals are able to stay connected and authentic to themselves while being able to respond to life, their emotions and others.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to know one’s self, assess, and manage both their own emotions and the emotions of those around them. People with high emotional intelligence pause and think about how they feel, and make an effort to be mindful of their thoughts. They also show high empathy and easily praise others while giving helpful feedback.
The state of being for people with high emotional intelligence tends to be more calm, which means they are not stuck in flight, fight or freeze mode. This makes it easier to stay organized and optimizes brain functioning. People can rely on you because you’re organized and able to stay on top of your life.
So what makes someone have high emotional intelligence?
The 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence
Self-awareness – A deep awareness of oneself allows people with high emotional intelligence to also be aware of others in a situation. Self awareness also looks like knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses, allowing them to grow and evolve into their best selves..
Self-regulation – This looks like thinking before speaking. They are aware of how they feel, they are able to express it and they hold themselves accountable. Hence why people with high emotional intelligence are reliable and stay true to their commitments.
Motivation – Being more connected to their internal sense of self, their motivation is intrinsic and they work towards achieving their own personal goals rather than societal expectations. Being internally motivated also puts them in a better position to motivate others, since they don’t feel the need to be competitive.
Empathy – Understanding how others feel and being able to act from a place of compassion allows them to see where others are coming from. This doesn’t mean condoning unacceptable behaviour, it just means they understand people’s actions and are less judgemental.
Social skills – They are able to communicate their point of view clearly and can negotiate and resolve conflicts in work environments. Having good social skills means they are more likely to be collaborative and cooperative, making them great team players.
Benefits of High Emotional Intelligence
Helps stress and anxiety
In looking at the connection between anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions in “What is Emotional Intelligence?” it is noted that individuals with high emotional intelligence are not immune. Rather because they are attuned with how they feel, they are able to catch difficult emotions, feel them and take action when needed. Individuals are ok with feeling uncomfortable and they see that emotions, whether “positive” or “negative”, give us information as to what’s going on inside and if we need to act or not.
Having high emotional intelligence helps with stress because you are not being controlled by your emotions. This is why people with high emotional intelligence are great communicators, leading them to have healthier relationships and be successful at work.
Being more clear minded, reflective and self aware means you can better utilize stress management tools. Again, this doesn’t mean someone with high emotional intelligence doesn’t get down, jealous, or depressed. It’s quite the opposite. They feel these emotions, however, the emotions don’t dominate their life. Instead they learn from the situation and see how they can move forward and grow. This creates less stress because they are in control and know they have options, choices and that ultimately they have power over their life.
High Emotional Intelligence In the workplace
Being able to self-regulate means that your emotions are in check; you stay cool under pressure and therefore you are better able to make decisions from a place of calm. High emotional intelligence at work also looks like the ability to maintain self control, get along with others, and an openness to change and adapt to situations.
Having high emotional intelligence in the workplace has a positive effect on relationships because it makes you a good listener. You are more focused and productive so you can help others be successful. You also feel confident and not threatened by others’ success, making you a great team player rather than having a competitor mindset.
Another benefit to high emotional intelligence is having clear communication skills that help build trusting, positive and collaborative relationships, both within your workplace and with outside businesses; meaning more sales and better relations with other companies.
4 Ways To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
Since emotional intelligence has gained credibility and value, there is an abundance of information on how to strengthen it. I will include some articles that provide in-depth ways in which you can develop your emotional intelligence.
1.Self awareness and changes in your emotions
The first step is regularly checking in to see how you feel, both physically and emotionally. The body can be a tool to identify when your emotions have changed along with your thoughts. Doing this regularly allows you to catch those emotions before you become reactive, stressed or let your emotions take over.
Paying attention to what you are telling yourself also helps, particularly if you start becoming negative. Make sure to meet your needs and remain positive to help keep you on track.
2. Empathy, humbleness and self-reflection
Do you jump and get upset when someone at work says something “stupid”? Try practicing empathy each day and seeing what it might be like being that person. Along with this comes an ability to be humble and not feel the need to be the center of attention or to be right. Instead, look at what you can improve on and reflect on how you are seeing the situation, if there is another way to look at it or if your actions and thoughts align with your vision and values.
3. Communication and self expression
When you are able to communicate clearly how you feel, your ideas, and reflect back what you hear from others, people feel more comfortable around you. You can start with those who are close to you and make a point to express how you feel, be more mindful of the words you choose and check in to see if you have understood what someone has shared with you.
4. Stress Management and stress responses
Being aware and practicing the tools above puts you in a better position to catch when you are feeling stressed and why. Taking note of how you respond or react to stress is another first step to making change. This means looking at what situations aggravate you and what helps you stay calm, grounded and connected to yourself.
Some stress management tools you can integrate into your life are exercise, journaling, and meditation. A more immediate option is to get cold. If you can take a cold shower or even splash water on your face, this reduces your body temperature and decreases anxiety. Other options are to take breaks and avoid substances like caffeine.
Increasing your emotional intelligence has ample benefits not only for you but for those around you, which leads to living a fuller, deeper and more purposeful life. To learn more check out the resources below.
Positive Psychology has numerous articles and resources on emotional intelligence check out their list here.