Often the information on stress and how to reduce it focuses on the symptoms rather than the root cause. Usually you will hear suggestions based on a healthy lifestyle. Having daily routines like meditation, exercise, connections with others is just good all around for your health, well being and reducing stress. But why? Maybe because it keeps you in a good mindset and helps you be present so that your thoughts and perceptions of situations are grounded. When you are present you are more likely to act from a place of power rather than fear and feeling powerless.
When we don’t take care of ourselves and our thinking the following happens:
Phase 1 – Acute Stress:
- We experience ourselves in a short term state of stress
- You end up thinking about past or future
- Maybe you experience emotional distress, stomach pains, muscular ie. headaches
Phase 2 – Episodic Acute Stress:
- This is more severe form of acute stress
- The stress has been going on for too long
- Sometimes you will hear people say you are a worry wart
Phase 3 – Chronic Stress:
- When we are facing ongoing challenging situations
- This causes burnt out and other physical symptoms
- You end up feeling like you have no control over your life
What is stress really about
Stress is resisting what you don’t want and not having what you do want. Consider instead that everything is an experience and be curious what you can gain and learn from it. Another thing to consider is looking at how often your stress relates to how others are behaving and not doing what you want. Or maybe you are getting attached to outcomes and that things need to be a certain way.
As you can see so far stress has a lot to do with how we perceive the world, what we are clinging onto and how we approach challenges. This means that an internal shift needs to occur in order for your stress to reduce and for your relationship to stress and life to change.
How to See Stress In a Different Way
Creating a healthy relationship to stress and using it as a source of growth and transformation is a path that takes time but has a bigger impact than focusing on dealing with the symptoms of stress alone. When you are able to connect with a situation and see that it is part of life instead of fighting it, right away you will reduce your stress and friction to the situation.
Focusing on what you can change and what is in your control allows you to let go of holding on to what you can’t change. Having a perspective that allows you to see both what’s in your control and out of your control can also help in shifting how you engage in life and can bring more ease to what might seem like a huge stressor. For example, having a big project that is due. You can see it as an opportunity to finally learn how to break down a task and do it bit by bit or freak out and tell yourself that you can’t do it.
The other aspect of reducing stress is taking care of yourself. It helps you have a clear and present mind to deal with whatever comes your way, this includes your physical health, emotional and social wellbeing. Also making sure to balance time with others and having alone time to yourself is a great way to reconnect and recalibrate. I find if I am around other people too much I lose connection with what is going on in my body and what I need.
Accepting your part in a situation and the decisions you made is another aspect that is within your control. Things rarely go exactly as planned so there is no need to stress out and beat yourself up about it. Instead, if you are able to look at the silver lining and see what you are learning this will also take a load off your shoulders.
Three Easy Ways to Release Stress
Passion and Purpose
How often is your stress related to comparing yourself to others? When we compare we automatically start thinking negatively, including having a negative view of ourselves. This brings a sense of less than and that you have to compete with others to get where they are. This doesn’t help you or the relationships with those around you who may seem to “have it better”.
On the flip side when you are able to connect to the deeper meaning of life and your purpose in this life then you can easily let go of what others are doing. Even if they are doing things you want to be doing, you can know inside that you are getting there in a different way with your own unique experiences and purpose. This allows you to stay connected to your passion and purpose and be present with what you are creating and doing. This approach also allows you to connect to others in a collaborative way rather than from a place of competition which equals less stress and more fun!
Perspective – Shifting Your Inner Dialog
What are you telling yourself? How is your inner dialog contributing to your stress? Do you have beliefs that keep you feeling powerless and stuck? The more attached you are to doing things a certain way the more stress you will have in your life. Remember what we change internally then has a direct effect on what shows up in our external world. So it’s not necessarily the situations we are in that cause us stress, it’s more about how we see them that does. Think of a time that you were so stressed and then you shifted your thinking about the situation and suddenly things all around you seemed different.
Consider the following to help you shift your inner dialog:
- Connect with the feeling of what you want to create and say “It is done, I am certain”
- Remember that you need to feel to heal, this will help release trapped emotions that keep you stuck in limited thinking and the past
- When there is a problem focus on what you can do and let go of what you can’t change
- If you want to use affirmations and ensure they work, make sure you feel them in your body, mind and spirit
- Start paying attention to what you are telling yourself. What’s your inner dialog? Remember your thoughts and words are powerful and play a role in the reality you create
Presence – Connecting with your Mind, Body and Spirit
When we get triggered we can get stuck in a flashback that keeps us trapped in the past. This past will likely have fear, anger or shame attached to it causing you to have a skewed view of what’s really going on. This is why it’s so important to find ways to build your ability to be present and grounded. That way if you are triggered you can be aware and address it right away instead of spiraling and making decisions based on a past that no longer exists..
This means creating healthy habits to support and more importantly to cultivate presence and balance with your mind, body and spirit. Consider the following::
- Taking time to process and let go negative emotions
- Being aware of your monkey mind and connecting with your breath, body and inner knowing
- Create daily practices to be present i.e. meditation, mindful moments, movement practices that help you connect to your body like tai chi or yoga
Remember that having a health style that keeps you balanced and present is helpful for reducing stress. And it’s also really important to look at what’s going on inside that keeps certain stressors lingering. When we let go of our attachments and how we view things that we can open the door to being present, balanced and connected to our mind, body and spirit.
