I started my year wanting to do a complete rehaul of my mindset and getting unstuck from old habits and distractions. I plowed in and was highly aware that I needed to stay balanced. That meant staying connected to being and doing modes. Unfortunately it didn’t take long until I was infull doing mode again, with my energy and enthusiasm waning.
I was so focused on creating and doing that my energy and intention became more of a pushing energy than an allowing and creating energy. I realized that balancing these elements into practice requires an openness and softness that is often missed in the personal growth world. To explain further, I believe we all embody divine feminine energies (the soft, caring, nurturing and creative) and the masculine on the flipside (the strong, assertive, decisive and intellectual). Staying connected to and drawing from each allows us to have growth and ongoing inner connection. This can also be seen in the yin and yang symbol, which most of you are probably familiar with the image of the intertwined energies – the light and the dark – seeking balance.
My masculine side comes out strong when I’m driven to achieve a certain result. I grew up in a society that is male dominated where doing and achieving results matters most. This is a great approach, however, not on it’s own. The feminine is needed as well; the allowing, the creating, the openness to receive through being in flow with the universe.
I began to shift this imbalance by getting into a daily practice of being very clear on what I wanted to create. I focused on how I wanted to feel. I used meditation and movement to help me ground and be more in the present moment. There are countless ways to reconnect to our different internal energies. Be sure to take a holistic approach and include activities that feed all of you – the mind, the body, the heart and the spirit.
How is Resistance to the Truth Stopping You From Gaining Clarity
In last month’s blog I talked a great deal about being stuck in old ways and habits, thoughts, and beliefs. How do you know if you are stuck in any one of these areas? Notice if you are having the same response every time someone asks you about an area in your life that you are struggling with. If they offer a suggestion and your immediate response is:
I can’t because…
You don’t understand…
Because of ….this happened and …..
Then maybe you need to look gently within and see if this is true. Are you blaming external factors and missing what’s happening on the inside? Remember, we are mirror images of what is happening in our world. If you are lying and denying the parts of yourself that are responsible for your current state of being then you will never be able to change and create what you want.
I know this is easier said than done because it puts us in a very vulnerable place. It can be hard to admit that something you’ve been doing for a long time has actually not been helping you move forward from the past, or being in the now, or creating for the future.
Being resistant to seeing the truth and being unwilling to change can also affect your overall clarity in life. If you are feeling like you are wandering aimlessly not clear on what you are creating or you know what you want but are easily distracted, ask yourself:
Do you know what’s keeping you stuck and overwhelmed?
Are you ready to let go and grow?
Have you reached your breaking point?
Do you have a deep desire and momentum to make change but don’t know where to start?
What stories do you replay over and over in your mind?
It’s time to get clear on who you are and who you want to be when you are around others. Once you know that, you can work on what skills you need to gain to get there. A good way to do this is to think of someone in your life whom you truly admire, or even envy. Freud used to say that envy and jealousy are powerful emotions that show us who we truly want to be. What qualities do they have that you would like to embody? Make a quick list and start embodying those feelings into your state of being.
How do Distractions Move you into another direction and stop you from seeing the truth
Creating clarity is the first part in getting into alignment with yourself. The second is creating movement in the direction you want to go in and how you want to experience the journey along the way. Movement can only be created if we are willing to let go. That means letting go of our beliefs, thoughts, how we spend our time and shifting our attachments to our belongings. This letting go creates space, literally and figuratively.
Consider letting go of the countless distractions that pull you away from clarity, focus and direction. These distractions come in countless forms:
People who surround us: Someone telling you that you are not capable and not supporting your dreams. Then getting pulled down and stuck by their words and energy.
Digital distractions: that are easy to grab when you are feeling out of alignment and want to escape to a less painful place.
Social distractions: and pressures of being told who to be and what to do. When the masses are following along it’s hard to be the outlier and stand in your full power even if it is scary.
Familiarity: Another distraction is the familiar. Yes, it keeps you in the repetition of possible toxicity because it’s comforting knowing an outcome even if it causes you harm.
All of these examples are ways that pull us out of clarity and create a sense of stuckness. This can come in the form of anxiety or sadness that feels heavy and slow, preventing us from staying in a flow and rhythm with life and nature.
How to Stay Grounded, Clear and Moving in the Right Direction
The question now is how do we stay in alignment, clear, focused and in flow with what we are creating and experiencing?
I am a HUGE fan of morning and evening routines and you’ll see that I mention it often. This creates a sense of grounding, focus and clarity especially if you include movement and journaling to set out your intentions and energy for the day. It’s also helpful to see where you are at and shift into a state of motivation and energy.
What is your tool box
There is an abundance of techniques, strategies and tools to help you stay in alignment. This ranges from meditation, tapping and breathing techniques to different therapy and spiritual practices. Having a variety is great because it allows you to choose what’s best for a particular situation. Having 5 and writing them down on a sticky note can help during those times when you are unclear and unsure what to do.
Take note for a few days in a notebook of what pulls you away from the present moment, your power and your focus. When this happens also take note of how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Once you have a sense of what needs are not being met and why you are moving away from the present moment you can set new boundaries and practices to help you stay connected and focused. One example is to leave your phone in the other room while you are working and ensuring you have connection time during breaks.
Organize your time + space
Being organized removes distractions, creates clarity and focus, especially when you are clear on your why. Why are you doing it? What does it means to you and how it will help you in living closer in alignment with your true self? This also means mapping out your time each day and being intentional about how you set up blocks of time to focus on what you are creating.
Make sure that you also look at getting support and encouragement. If there is no one in your life that can be there for you in the way you need, find a way to get what you need. That could be listening to inspiring and inspirational material online.
I do want to remind you that sometimes all of us get lost, stuck, distracted and feel unmotivated. These are all emotions that are part of the human experience. It’s when we get stuck in those muddled waters for long, uninterrupted periods of time that we have to take a closer look at what is really weighing us down.
At the end of the day when we are connected to our highest potential, inner power and true purpose we stay connected to our focus and are able to move clearly in the direction we want to go in consciously and intentionally.